Cooking With Sass

I love entertaining. While I’m aware that showgirl lifestyle often operates on a ‘Champagne tastes, Beer budget”, way I still hate to skimp on tasty opulence. Besides, it’s been proven time and again that over-processed foods are more often than not also overpriced and bad for you but there is a massive satisfaction from creating from scratch. You really can pour your emotions into your cooking a la Water For Chocolate┬ástyle.

Yesterday gave me the occasion to satisfy a few thirsts in one go: The Soska sisters (The Twisted Twins to most) were coming to broadcast their radio show, Mondays Suck live from Haus of Boudior. Since I didn’t have to lure them into my gingerbread house, I figured between them and Lola I’d have ample time to use them as my culinary guinea pigs.

And cuss on the radio.

And talk about porn… mostly after 9PM. Mostly.

Since I know many others out there who have a food fetish (more on the eating end of things, and less on the sploshing) I wanted to post the recipe here for you, along with some helpful cooking instructions for your own kitchen foray. Then you too can entertain your guests, as long as your not cooking this for vegans… unless it’s an assassination attempt… And be sure to tune in every Monday 7PM – 10PM PST to to listen to Mondays Suck.

Pasta With Asparagus, Chicken, And Gorgonzola

* Note: this recipe originally appeared in the cookbook “InterCourses” by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge. I have made a few deviations from the original recipe.

1/2 lb fresh asaparagus

1/2 lb pound linguine

1 Tbs butter (substituted with olive oil – with special *cough* ingredient)

1 cup thin strips of organic, free-range chicken (no dirty birds)

1/2 cup heavy cream (or whipping cream if your lazy like me)

1 1/2 Tbs finely chopped shallots

red pepper flakes to taste

dash of allspice (cause that shit is good in everything)

2 oz. of crumbled Gorgonzola (be sure to say the word a lot because it is ridiculous and fun – makes me want to be a namer of cheese)

1 Tbs of fresh tarragon (or the whole package if your me)

1) Trim and clean asparagus. Try not to giggle because you remember that in Germany they get them white, call them “spargle” and resemble little phalluses. Cut into 1 1/2 bits, and blanche and put aside. Pour wine for cooking aid.

2) Cook the linguine until al dente. Drain, set and set aside. Congratulate yourself on not giving into foodie temptation and buying fresh stuff, even though you KNOW it’s better. Spin around looking for where you put your wine.

3) Melt butter (or put olive oil) in a large skillet. Stir-fry the chicken until it browned. Whisk in the cream, red pepper, shallots, and allspice. Put wine in “safe” place. Like the top of the fridge.

4) Add Gorgonzola cheese, stir until melted. Eat the leftover cheese out from under your over-grown fake nails. (I KNEW I got these for a reason!) Try to remember the safe place. Realize that it was stupid not to put your wine somewhere in your line of sight.

5) Add the tarragon, asparagus (giggle again) and linguine. Toss well. Toss back wine.

6) Serve on warmed plates… of assemble all that stuff and let your guests serve themselves. Crack open another bottle of wine. Proceed to do radio show.

Because that’s what friends are for: to experiment on, share your favourite porn clips, and be a little blue on the radio airwaves for the people who are unable to join you in person.

Photo by Lola Frost: Jen Soska, Sylvia Soska, and myself @ Haus Of Boudior.

Eat, Spray (blood, perfume and glitter) and love,

Little Miss Risk


This entry was posted in Random Banter. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Cooking With Sass

  1. Marcel Veronesi says:

    …creme, shallots & tarragon…my teeth are standing at attention.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

* Copy This Password *

* Type Or Paste Password Here *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>