From The Vaults: Hentai

Yup, was re-reading some of my old posts, and sure enough there is MORE good stuff in there, stuff I’m willing to dig out, clean up and repost. Keep in mind this was back in the touring days, so I was fragile of mind and heavy of heart, but I assure you I’m much better now. Still demented enough that I like me tentacle porn. Read on.

I’m back on the Hentai train again. It was bound to happen sooner or later but given I’ll be on tour with ******* soon, and that means my mind begins to drift to what we’ll term ‘outside projects’. One of these is a Michelle L’Amour-inspired number but it is decidedly more geared to the fetish crowd. I won’t go into too many details but suffice to say, it’ll be pretty awesome when done (the largest component is being made as I type this!). But like all good burlettas, it requires a lot of research to get it just right and in doing so it means, in this case, watching a LOT of Hentai. I can tell you that it’s strictly for research purposes, but in all honesty, I’ve been doing the research since I was eighteen.

(Pretty sure the octo-monster didn’t buy her dinner first…)

What has dazzled me about this experience is that one day in passing, I posted on Facebook that I was watching a lot of tentacle rape Hentai (but for research) and all of a sudden I discovered something about my peers. Everyone came forward with either a link or suggestion for the best or favorite movie, scene, clip. My inbox on my email got taut with links and videos. I got zip files a plenty. From this I learned two things:

1) I will have to buy a lot of ultraslime for this number.

2) Everyone has a closet pervy quality, and enjoys a good tentacle rape scene.

I’m not condoning rape. Rape is a bad and scary thing. I’d never in a million years tell you that it is okay to force yourself on someone, EVER. In our heads, however there exists a place of ¬†fantasy. Where we can’t deny that there is some deep, reptilian thing in our brains that in many of crave to have it acted upon (as long as it’s, you know, consensual). It’s this tale we tell ourselves where we have complete control about not having control … and it brings up a point that’s a great equalizer. The staggering response to my fairly innocent post pointed out something to me about a lot of people, from very different lifestyles, backgrounds and scenes: Hentai is kind of okay.

Allow me to explain: Given that it’s a cartoon and it’s not real, there is no victimization of actual people, so many of the situations are so preposterous they have no basis in ANY reality (and even if it did no one looks like that). So everyone can enjoy a temporary leave of the day to day and enjoy seeing a cartoon getting drilled by a giant octopus guilt free. Your not going to find a lavender hair girl with giant breast that rotate counter-clockwise when fucked who cries and wails upon penetration in real life, but in pen and ink fantasy, she exists. The ink temptresses also serve another purpose too: they allow us to project our fantasies, wants and needs without risk to a real person.

(The A/C must be broken – all the girls have mouths open and dumped water on themselves.)

There are many people who work in the adult field but there is also a few people who can damage the industry by having substance abuse problems as a result of their work. I don’t feel that just because you work on porn you have a habit, but we know that it’s usually the people who do who wind up getting everyone else tarred with the same brush. So how do we avoid the problems of exploitation? Easy. We draw. You can’t exploit a doodle, sketch or cartoon – trust me, if you could, crappy fanfic art would pose more of a problem that this.

But wait! This can also help solve greater social problems!

Because some people are sick and can’t figure out the difference between fantasy and reality, and that you DON’T rape strangers in real life or behave like a predator, Hentai can help rehabilitate convicted sex offenders. How, you ask? Easy: sentence sex offenders to hand-render each scene as part of a full-length Hentai film. By having to draw cell after cell of animation, by hand it will likely make them NEVER want to have anything to do with sex, deviant or otherwise for the REST of their LIVES. We get great Hentai, they get rehabilitated and a chance to get back into being productive members of society and we all win. Go ahead and nominate me for my Nobel Peace Prize now.

But back to the burlesque…

Why do I need to create these ridiculous onstage spectacles? Aside from the fact that it’s awesome, it’s because I am living proof that nepotism doesn’t work. I share a basic DNA sequence with a VERY well known crooner, but even with this genetic tie, it’s not enough to help me raise my own profile. As cool as it would be to perform burlesque live to “Feelin’ Fine” for Michael Buble (yes, I name dropped. No regrets) rather than dancing to the canned version of it, I have a feeling he’s not racing to put his ridiculous performance-artist cousin onstage with him. At least not as one of Giger’s monsters, anyways. Maybe one day when he wants to break the chains of his internationally famous success and regress into a more underground and gritty exploration of live music and performance, he’ll look me up.

Until then, I’m going to stick with my Hentai.

Little Miss Risk

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